So I was just looking at these photos of you from our last trip to the beach with you last summer...
I am crying because I realize that your new baby sibling is going to probably kick his or her feet in total joy, the same way you did but it won't be you. I know I will love your little brother or sister just as much as I love you and your older brothers but I will always miss seeing the joy on your face and in your big beautiful brown eyes when you kicked your feet with joy. I think that was one of the hardest things about seeing your body after your soul went to be with God was not seeing your beautiful brown eyes light up with joy and your legs kicking with delight. You were my little kicker, both in and outside the womb! Your little sibling is not nearly the kicker that you once were.
What I would give to see you now, 1 year 2 months old, running around with those little chubby legs. You had a little birth mark on your left leg that I always rubbed when I fed and rocked you. It really stood out on your beautifully chubby legs. You can see it in the photo below. I still cant' believe how big you were for a 4 month old in these pictures - WOW! I guess all your kicking wore you out this day because you passed out as we took a walk in the stroller on the beach. All that fresh air and excitement with the sounds of the rolling waves!
As your auntie Katie W would say, may you be resting like this in paradise. Paradise has always been the beach to me so now as the weather gets warmer and I prep to head to the Outer Banks of NC with my friends this weekend, I will always think of you when I am at the beach (not that I don't think about you all the time already!!!!!!!!!). I know you will be there with me in spirit and I will try and remember the kicks of joy as I take in all the beauty and joy that the beach offers.
I love you to Heaven and back my little kicker.
Your one and only Mom