Last night I woke up to the sounds of your dad sobbing in his sleep. It frightened me because it sounded like the cries I heard for months after you first left us for Heaven. I immediately asked him if he was ok and he just said he had to go into your room and write in his journal. It was so upsetting to hear those cries in the middle of the night and I was brought back immediately to the stabbing pain we felt the first weeks and months after you passed. It is not that we don't feel that way now, I guess we have learned to control it now. Unfortunately we can't control our dreams.
I came across this article on infant loss and I thought it really depicted how we feel. Honestly, how no one else can feel the pain we feel. Not that I want someone too but I think that is why we have leant so heavily on other families that have experienced such profound loss.
http://www.jsonline.com/news/opinion/the-heartache-of-infant-loss-131289299.html
The writer sums it up perfectly.
Infant loss is more than an empty cradle. It's a life sentence.
Owen, a day has not gone by that I haven't cried for you or ached to see your smiling face.
I miss you more than words could ever express.
Love,
Your One and Only Mom
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