Our Little Warrior Owen

This blog is dedicated to our little sunshine angel Owen. We named him Owen because it means little warrior and we knew he would have to be with two older brothers. He was our little sunshine and his heart stopped beating unexpectedly on his 5 month birthday. We are devastated by the loss of our little guy. Hopefully, this blog will give readers a sense of what a beautiful spirit he was, how he completed our family and will help to keep his memory alive. We hope this gives light into our grieving process and can help other families that suffer a similar tragic loss.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Run to remember YOU

Dear Owen,

I have never been more proud of your father and you.  Your father for running the NYC marathon in your honor, raising over $5K for SIDS research.  You, for looking over him while he ran 26.2 miles, beside him the entire way, and while he recently experienced what he thought was a heart attack, again beside him the entire time.

I still can not watch your dad's fundraising video without crying...

Run to Remember video for Owen

Your dad's fundraising page with the CJ SIDS Foundation

Your dad felt great the entire marathon and I know it was because you were with him the whole way.  Thanks to all of you who donated to such a great cause.  Hopefully one day we know why SIDS happens and how we can PREVENT it because now, there is NO way to prevent it, only to reduce the risks.  There has actually been some recent research that was released in regards to abnormalities in the brain stem of SIDS babies.

Article on Boston Children's new SIDS study

A special thanks to those of you who joined us on race day in NYC.  It was a cold busy day but your support of Jim, Owen and all babies lost to SIDS was much appreciated.

I am so proud to be married to your dad, someone who devotes his life to his family.  He was like a machine running and I know that was because of you.  It's so hard to continue to live life without you here physically but it is events like this that we do to continue living in your honor that make it all bearable.  I could barely hold back the tears the entire day.

The tears continued a week later when your dad woke me up at 5am saying he thought he was having a heart attack.  I was so out of it and didn't believe what I had heard.  I told him to lay down and breathe and he did but then felt like he had to use the bathroom.  Unfortunately on the way into the bathroom, he collapsed and passed out, hitting his mouth on the tub during his fall.  Seeing the blood and half his teeth missing, I called 911 and your dad was taken by ambulance to the same hospital you were born in and the same hospital we took you to when we found you in your crib, sleeping like a true angel.  After a full day of monitoring, thank God and YOU, they didn't think your dad had a heart attack or a stroke.   He has a few follow ups to do but after a good deal of dental work, they think it was a combination of exhaustion, dehydration and anxiety that caused the pain in his chest and the fainting episode.

During this time that your dad thought he may be having a heart attack I really believe he thought he may be joining you in heaven.  I have never seen him so scared but I kept reminding him that whatever happened, we would be ok, he would be ok.  If it was his time to join you in heaven, he would be in the arms of God and finally hold you again in his arms. 

I guess God still feels that your dad has a job to do here on earth.  I guess we all do until we join you in heaven.  Thank you and thank God he is still with us and it was nothing serious other than a wake up call that we all need.  We need to take care of ourselves, mentally and physically, while we are still here on earth.  As painful as it is to grieve for you, we need to do it so it doesn't build up inside.

Thank you for giving me more time with your dad and protecting him every step of the way for he has many more steps to give for you, the rest of our family and many many more people on this earth before his time to join you in heaven comes.

I feel your presence in the nursery at home and I know your dad feels it all the time.  I know you are here with us protecting us, especially your dad and your baby sister.  Reilly reached a huge milestone this week.  She turned 5 months, 1 day old.  Thank you for watching over her, every second of every day.  I know she knows you and I sense your soul in her.

I love you more than you will ever know and miss you every second of every day.  Tomorrow your oldest brother turns 6.  How I wish you would be there at 21 months of age, smashing the cake in his face and running around crazy on a sugar high of cake and ice cream.

Your one and only Mom

Saturday, November 16, 2013

She lives!

Dear Owen,

I can't help but quote a good baby loss friend.  She lives!

Happy 5 month birthday Reilly!

Thanks for looking over her last night Owen.

Love you more than ever.

Your one and only mom