Our Little Warrior Owen

This blog is dedicated to our little sunshine angel Owen. We named him Owen because it means little warrior and we knew he would have to be with two older brothers. He was our little sunshine and his heart stopped beating unexpectedly on his 5 month birthday. We are devastated by the loss of our little guy. Hopefully, this blog will give readers a sense of what a beautiful spirit he was, how he completed our family and will help to keep his memory alive. We hope this gives light into our grieving process and can help other families that suffer a similar tragic loss.

Friday, August 29, 2014

Outer space camp out chats

Dear Owen,

Tonight your dad took your brothers to best buy to do guy things while I put your sister to bed.  They played video games, bought a printer etc.  all the things that bore me! 

So they got home late and as they were going to bed in a camp out in the guest room, they started talking about space.  So many questions, such a cute conversation to listen in on.  Unfortunately I couldn't help but think you should be there in the mix.  2.5 years old, listening in, doing boy things with the boys.  

I am so grateful to God for blessing our family with your sister.  She literally saved me.  But I can't help but think back to the 5 months or so I had with you in my belly, knowing you were a boy and the 5 months we had with you as our third son, and remember how excited I was to have a family of three boys.  Polar opposite of the family of three girls I grew up in.

God has blessed our family so much but I still can't wait till I meet him in heaven to ask why.  Why God did you take my third son for your own and leave me broken hearted?

Miss you more than ever.

You were missed tonight in the little playground in town.  Here's your brothers trying to throw each other off.  I didn't grab a picture when your sister was on it too but when she was, the fourth seat sat empty.  Oh how we missed you.  

Your one and only Mom

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

One less toddler almost preschooler this year

Dear Owen,

Today your oldest brother started first grade! First grade! He looks like a third grader!

I couldn't help but think you should be here, hugging him goodbye and waving bye to the bus and saying "bus, bus" like all little boys obsessed with modes of transportation.  

Your sister was sure sad to see him go...

Your middle brother didn't seem too disturbed.  Probably because he know he starts school in a few weeks.

Everyone has posted all week about missing their kids going off to school or being overjoyed that their kids were headed off to school.  Honestly, I wish I could feel either for you.  I wish I could feel something other than pure pain.  Pure anguish.  I am overjoyed that Connor is happy, healthy and excited to start a new year of school.  Though, I hate that I have to pull his teacher aside and tell her about you and our family, so she doesn't question him or wonder when he introduces himself saying he has two brothers and a sister but one brother lives in heaven.

A dear friend who also belongs to this awful bereaved parents club sent this to me tonight. It captured all of the feelings I go through as we start another school tear.

Please, remember as you start this new year, I and many others like myself, rejoice and cry. Some only cry too because they lost their only child.  Please remember Owen and any other child tht will never have a first day of any grade.  Please say Owens name.  It brings joy to my heart and a smile to my face.  Owen lived! He existed! And he continues to exist in our lives.

Owen I love you and miss you.  We all miss you. 

Love you to heaven and back.

Your one and only Mom