Our Little Warrior Owen

This blog is dedicated to our little sunshine angel Owen. We named him Owen because it means little warrior and we knew he would have to be with two older brothers. He was our little sunshine and his heart stopped beating unexpectedly on his 5 month birthday. We are devastated by the loss of our little guy. Hopefully, this blog will give readers a sense of what a beautiful spirit he was, how he completed our family and will help to keep his memory alive. We hope this gives light into our grieving process and can help other families that suffer a similar tragic loss.

Thursday, July 11, 2013

A not so little rainbow

Dear Owen,

I've been meaning to write you for awhile but I've been super busy lately.  I'm sorry.  As you know your little SISTER arrived on Father's Day.  What a gift.  Thank you.
Reilly Ann 

Born Sunday June 16th, 2013 at 9:20pm
Daddy's first girl arrived on Father's Day
9 lbs 14 oz
22.5 inches
Our biggest baby yet! 

We selected Reilly because it means valiant/courageous and Ann because it means gracious.  Reilly is Jim's grandmother's maiden name and Ann is the middle name of Carla, both grandmothers and influential aunts on both sides of our family.

Let me tell you Owen, I know you were with us when Reilly was born.  I had a total emotional breakdown half way through labor.  I completely lost it and just balled balled balled for you.  Thank goodness my midwife Aimee was there and totally understood what we were goin through.  She was so supportive.  She reminded me that you were there with us and I felt your presence.  You looked after both Reilly and I.  Thank you for being there and helping your sister to arrive safely.  
It is understood that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of any storm. When a RAINBOW appears, it does not mean that the storm never happened or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover, but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy and hope.
We are so filled with joy but its been a struggle too these last three weeks.  Owen, we miss you more than ever.  The dynamics of our family have changed.  No longer can we say the boys, we have to say the kids.  You should be here to enjoy your sister.  It's been a struggle to take family photos because there is the constant reminder that our family isn't complete.  You should be here walking around, sharing in this joy with us.  Having a baby around reminds me so much of my time with you.  It's all so fresh.  God I miss you.  Having Reilly has put me into a new stage of grief.  

I wish I would have wrote sooner and I'm sorry.  Today marks the anniversary of my last day with you.  I can't believe it's been a year. What I would give to go back a year from today and never ever put you down to bed.  

I love you more than you ever know.  

Your one and only mom

Your little sister...

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