Ever since you went to be with God the dreaded question of "how many kids do you have" haunts me. I almost always say 4 since Reilly has arrived because you are my son, even if you are in heaven now. Though I know it weirds people out and they don't know what to say when they her that I have a son that died of SIDS. Occasionally if I am not up for it I will just nod and say I have three but almost always I say 4. I hate the comments I get now about finally getting my girl and how lucky I am. If people only knew.
I was so touched to receive today a beautiful necklace with all four of my Children's names on it from a dear friend. I wept looking at all of your names. You are a foursome. I know you are with us Owen even if it is only in spirit. I see you in Reilly. When we bath her and her wild hair is matted down, she looks just like you. Connor and Liam talk about how cute Reilly is but when they say it, they always say she is so cute "just like Owen".
Tonight as I was putting Liam to bed he noticed the new necklace. He immediately commented on his name (what 3 year old isn't that self centered!). After that he noticed Connors name since he sees it all the time and idolizes his older brother. After that he noticed your name and just started crying. He ran to your picture in their room and kissed it and blew a kiss to you in heaven. Then he remembered he didn't kiss Reilly goodnight since she was already asleep when he got home. He ran to her bedside and blew her a kiss.
What I wouldnt give for you to be in your room physically so Liam could blow you a kiss in your crib. I miss your sweet sweet smile. Your contagious laugh. I miss my three sons being together. I just plain fat miss you. The way you rolled around and flashed that smile knowing I was so proud of you. The way you admired your older brothers and just stated at them with pure content.
You will always be one of my four Children and Liam will never be a middle child alone. He's the older middle child.
I love you more than you will ever know and I can't wait to see you in heaven. I am no longer afraid of dying. When my time comes I will close my eyes and smile for I know you will greet me at heavens gates.
Your one and only Mom