It's another day I dread more than others. The 12th of the month. It has been 3 months since I last held your chubby, cuddly body warm and alive and it has been 8 months since we welcomed you into this world and I held and kissed you for the first time. I hate the number 12 now because I know it is a day that I am going to have more than one or two meltdowns. It is a day I am going to have more like 12. 5 months was not enough time to give you all the love I wanted to give you. I give you love everyday and I hope you feel it from heaven.
The other day, I learned that St. Michael is known as the Warrior from Heaven. How appropriate since Owen means Little Warrior. We named you Michael after my grandfather and your aunt Michelle. Little did we know you would live out your name and be a true warrior both here on earth and in heaven. St. Michael is the protector of people and I know you are now the protector of our family both in heaven and here on earth.
Traditionally Michael (whose name means “one who is like God”) is known as a divine messenger, a protector of the faithful, the angel who guides our souls upon death.
Owen, you must have known how scared of death I once was because now that you have left us here on earth, I am no longer scared of death because I know you will guide my soul to heaven when my day comes.
This sunday we are participating in our first SIDS event, the CJ Strides for Babies, in Jersey City, NJ. We didn't invite too many people because I just don't know how I am going to react being at an event where they memorialize you. I pray that God gives us the strength to honor your memory and share a laugh or two along the way because while you were here on earth you sure granted us many smiles and laughs.
Tonight we will be visiting your grave and then celebrating your life as we always do on the 12th. I guess it's not like any other day though because I miss you every hour of every day.
This morning Connor was playing legos while he waited for Liam to wake up so they could go to school. I noticed he was singing "You Are My Sunshine" in his rocktone sort of way. He had just moved the marker on our Halloween "Advent" calendar to 12. I asked him what he was doing and he said "Singing Owen's song to him because it's his birthday today - 12". Wow. The other night when your dad was away your brothers and I spent time going through all of your pictures and remembering the good times. Liam LOVED to remember the time that you, Connor and your Dad all got into the big tub and took a super bubble bath all together "just the boys" he said. They miss you more than ever and so do your Dad and I.
I look forward to honoring your memory this weekend and meeting a few of the people that have helped me since July 12th.
I love you and miss you.
Your one and only Mom
Our Little Warrior Owen
This blog is dedicated to our little sunshine angel Owen. We named him Owen because it means little warrior and we knew he would have to be with two older brothers. He was our little sunshine and his heart stopped beating unexpectedly on his 5 month birthday. We are devastated by the loss of our little guy. Hopefully, this blog will give readers a sense of what a beautiful spirit he was, how he completed our family and will help to keep his memory alive. We hope this gives light into our grieving process and can help other families that suffer a similar tragic loss.