Happy would be 7 month birthday Owen. Unfortunately it's been 2 months since you took your angel journey too. Tonight we went to Shady Brook farm and got some mums to plant at your grave. We went there at sunset and it was beautiful. Your dad planted the mums in the shape of a heart while Connor and Liam watered the grass above your grave and the newly planted flowers. They also put rocks from our yard (ones you know so well because you were out there with me every day this summer working on the yard) around the mums in the shape of a heart. As the sun set a bag pipe began to play. How random but how appropriate. Your brothers held me tight and kissed my tears as I wept for you. We are teaching the boys specific prayers and they love talking to you in heaven. They have so many questions about your body and try and understand what your soul is and how it got to heaven. I never thought I would have to explain all of this to them so young. It's insane how comfortable they are at a cemetery now. Every time we pass one Liam says "that's where Owen lives!". Crazy huh?!?!
Last night we also went to a paint your own pottery place to paint two planters. Connor and Liam did a great job. You will love them. They have their hand prints on them, stencils of dragonflies, honeybees and suns (Connor's classrooms at TcDc) and Connor also wrote all of our names. They will be a beautiful addition to your gravesite as we finalize your gravestone.
I watched the video of your giggling with me many times today. I screamed, I cried, I punched the seat. I want to see it again. You would probably be crawling by now since you were commando crawling to join your brothers. Today in the car we talked a lot about you. Liam misses taking baths with you. Connor misses tickling your toes and kissing you. I miss holding you as you cuddle your head on my shoulder. Your dad misses singing to you while he rocked you.
We all miss you and ache to see you again. Friends have been amazing to remember you and our suffering. Thanks to all of you who remembered how hard this 12th day of the month is for us. It's funny because people always think the 13th is unlucky. Your nano was born on the 13th so I have never thought that. We thought it was great you were born 2-12-12. 121212. Now I dread the number 12 since you passed on 7-12-12. You will have been gone 5 months on 12-12-12 - the same amount you lived with us on earth. So needless to say, I wish the number 12 would go away. Good thing our house number is 11.
Here's to lucky number 13 tomorrow.
We love and miss you every second.
Your smile makes me smile and cry.
I love you dear Owen. My heart aches for you.
Love,
Your one and only mom
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